Author: greg

Today started as a normal day for me. I got up at 6 AM and my parents were upset saying that it is a weekend and I can sleep in late. Why should I? I might miss something and besides, I have a small tummy and it not a fuel storage depot like daddy’s belly, so I need to eat a little more often than he does. I can’t go for days like fatty to fatty mcdaddy. I also have my two front teeth coming in, so I need a little more energy to get them out and to chew on the teething ring.

So mom got up to feed me (well so did dad, but he was a little slow because I think he is broken). After I ate, I did not realize it was picture day, but for some reason, mom put me in an orange outfit and started calling me her little peanut. Dad kept saying that I was the cutest M&M and wanted to eat me up. I was tired from being soooo cute that I took a nap and the next thing I know, I was in the car and headed to the pet store. I think my cheap daddy needs to buy me a fish tank, at least that is what mom says.

So after the road trip, Grandpa Bill and Grandma Nikki showed up. I thought that they loved me and would protect me from the insanity of my mom and her love of pandas, boy was I wrong. They helped my mom with her dream, she made me into a panda! I know I am cute, but why does she do this to me. I can’t believe I am going to say this, but call PETA on my dad for allowing my mom to do this. After grandma and grandpa left, mom put me in my car seat, drove me to Grandma CC’s house and shoved me in the outfit. Why me?!?!?

Time to head to bed, hopefully I wont wake up in the panda outfit.

Alex

Well, it is official my daddy is one lazy man. Mom has been busy all month and fatty too fatty mcdaddy couldn’t even write one post! It was a very busy month that included a hospital stay for my sister and proof that fatty to fatty mcdaddy isn’t my real dad. I do have to say that fatty to fatty mcdaddy did get some new pictures up of me.

So lets begin with what happened last month. Mommy went back to work and since she works really close to home, she just goes to work in the morning. That leaves daddy as the one that takes me to Grandma CC’s new house since it is really close to where her works. So far Daddy hasn’t killed me (which is amazing). Most days, mom comes and picks me up and I get to spend some great quality time with her before daddy comes home and ruins it.

As I said before, my sister Panda Cat had to spend some time in the hospital because every time she ate or drank, she would puke it back up. She was gone for almost 3 whole days but when she came back she was feisty as usual and we began our normal play. Mommy say it was because Panda probably ate something that she shouldn’t have. If that is the case, daddy is to blame because he keep giving her Buffalo Spice Doritos and Cheetos. I also think daddy gave her an ulcer.

So now to the proof that fatty to fatty mcdaddy is not my daddy. I had to go to my doctor this week, which I was dreading cause every other time I go, she stabs me and I hurt for hours; for my nine month check up. Well they poked me, proded me and then took all of these measurements. So I am at a good height of 27 inches, my head is the right size, but they say that I am not fat enough. If that is not proof that fatty to fatty mcdaddy is not my daddy, I don’t know what is!!! But just think, I now get to eat every thing that I ever wanted just so that I can gain weight, ICE CREAM HERE I COME. No need to lose any for me!

Now that we know why daddy is torturing me, please call PETA!!!

Well it is late, so I am off to bed to get my needed rest.

–Alexander, the not so fat one

Somebody please call PETA on my father!!!! Yes PETA – People for the Ethical Treatment of Alex! I will get to this soon. But more importantly, I made it to 8 months. Amazing that my dad has not run me over with his car yet!

So my day started at as usual, I woke up at about 4AM and mommy came into my room, calmed me down and brought me to her bed. I guess it is daddy’s too, but that will hopefully change soon. We then all got up at about 6 so that they could get ready for work and so that I can finally travel with dad to Grandma’s house.

It was a usual day at Grandma’s and mommy came really early to pick me so that I could change for my pictures. Daddy got home almost on time and the picture taking began. Some were OK but others were not as I had to roll around to test the speed of dad’s camera. Mommy had to leave early for something at work and she left me with daddy.

This is where my day goes to heck in a hand basket. I am a baby and I will get my diaper dirty on a regular basis. This evening was no exception. Daddy began the process of changing me by removing the dirty diaper and get a freezing cold wipe to clean me up. I was not happy about this and decided to roll over. Every time dad put me on my back, I would roll over. Come on I am a baby and I like to play. Well daddy must have been in one of his bad moods and said fine Squirmy, I will just put the diaper on backwards since you will not play nice. I had it on backwards for almost 2 hours until mommy came home to rescue me. So please call PETA on my dad.

The rest of the night was OK since mommy took care of me and told daddy to go play on a computer.

See you tomorrow and hopefully PETA has a talk with daddy.

Alexander the Squirmy Wormy

Well today was the first day of mommy having to deal with the little delinquents as the law calls them. Usually dad would take me to Grandma CC’s house but as usual, the lazy guy made my over worked mommy drive out of the way to do it.If I did not tell you Grandma bought me a new house and it is right near where daddy works and really far from where mommy works. Daddy decided that his job was way more important than anything else and left mommy and me alone at 6:15 this morning to go to work. He is such a slacker at taking care of me.

It is OK though, I got to spend some extra time with mommy before she had to go to work. She took me to Grandma’s where I spent the whole day there playing with Natosha and Vicki. Mommy finally came in the early afternoon to pick me up and then we went home where I decided it was time to wrestle with Panda. Daddy came home and then all the fun was gone. No more alone time with mommy.

After that it was a standard night, I ate and then went to bed. So I am off to it now.

See you all in a day.

Alex

Welcome back!!!

I know that my parents have been slacking on writing to the blog for the past few months and I agree, there is no excuse for it, my daddy is plain and simply LAZY!!! I can’t blame my mommy because she spent the entire summer with me and we had way more important things to do than blog like: eat, nap, play, poop, nap, eat, play, and then go to bed. Daddy did his usual of going to work, caring for two lawns and houses and helping mom when she needed it, so he had plenty of time to blog but didn’t.

To catch you up on what I did, my mommy had a birthday and she got a year wiser, daddy had one too but that just means he is getting old. Right before daddy’s birthday, a tree fell down in our back yard and took out my big deck and broke mommy’s car (actually, it just fell on the deck and did close to $3000 damage to Mel’s car {daddy}).

Oh yeah, one of the best parts of the summer was that Auntie Shyster came home for the summer. We played a lot, ate a lot and finally rode in cars a lot as we made a road trip and took her back to Oklahoma City for her last year of school. On the trip home, daddy made me vist the John Deere factory, I have to admit it was fun but still, why do I have to do stuff to make him happy.

Mommy says that once she gets into a schedule, she is going to go back and make some updates so that you can actully she what I did over the summer. Daddy finally posted some new pics of me. Man is he fat, but then again he thinks he is a farmer.

Glad to be back and cant wait to keep you posted on my adventures.

Today is a day that will live in infamy, well at least for me. You see it was getting windy and ready to storm so mommy took me to the back window to look at the storm. Well it got really dark and windy but it didn’t start to rain yet. Then all of a sudden it was stormy like crazy, windy rainy and lightening. I thought it was neat to see the storm. What was not neat was seeing half of the tree in the back yard slowly fall on the deck. Mommy pulled me out of that room and then called daddy to tell him what happened. As she was talking to them, the rest of the tree fell on my mommy’s car. Look at some of the pictures of the aftermath. It was a scary day but I made it through the ordeal.

I will get back in touch as soon as the tree is gone.

Alex

For the first time in a long time my daddy decided to get off his lazy butt and take care of me. It is Wednesday and thus daddy works from home. Well I decided that I would show him up and not bother him too much so I slept for most of the day. You may think that I am getting soft on him, but it is more that I am showing him who is boss and not letting him play with me. Just look at how cute I am, who would not want to play with me?

When mommy came home I was wide awake and she fed me while daddy went to PT and then when lazy came home she put me in my Baby Bjorn so we could watch him do yard work. Soon after, Auntie Sparky came by and had dinner with us. They ate, I went to bed.

 Night, Alex

Well it is Tuesday and daddy is being lazy again and making Auntie Sparky take care of all day. Something about daddy having to deal with Sears. Well mommy dropped me off with Auntie and then she got bored in the early afternoon and met with a friend of hers Elise. They hung out for a bit then she brought me home so that mommy would not have to drive all around to get me.

Not that I wanted to play with my daddy, but he did not come home for a long time and I almost missed him. When he did come home he said I could not mention anything about Sears. I don’t know what happened but I am sure I heard him say something about a post office. Mommy calmed him down and I played with him. I ate, I drooled and the I went to bed.

Alex

Mom broke her own rule and had a psyco cleaning Sunday. Daddy stayed out of it and did what he was told to do. Auntie Sparky came to help and then Mom, Auntie and I went to Target to return a ton of stuff that no longer fits me. Mom said some things about Target that I can not repeat, but I believe it comes down to her disliking corporate America. We then bought a ton of stuff for, ME and then we came home.

That is it, a long day of cleaning and buying stuff for me. Got to sleep now.

Alex

It is Saturday and many think it is a sleep in day. Not for me, because since I am soooo little, every day is weekend. So I got up early, made daddy stay up with me and then I let mommy sleep. Daddy left later in the morning to cut the grass at the new house. I was kinda glad becuase I got a lot of mommy and me time. Daddy then came home and we drove up to the new house to drop off some stuff he had to pick up from Sears.

After we dropped the stuff off, mommy made dad get new clothes since he was sooo dirty. We then went to OG (I call it Olive Garden, but daddy is lazy) for dinner. After dinner we went home and waited for bit becuase mom wanted to go to the Carival in town, so did dad, but mom said he could not join the gang and become a “carnie”. Mom went on some rides, and mom and dad both won teddy bears for me. Yea ME!!!

Well it is late and I am tired.

Alex